Yahtzee takes on Solid Snake and loses
by Jem Alexander 
{ Jun 25th 2008 at 1:15PM }
Sometimes you have to wonder whether Yahtzee enjoys playing any games. This week he predictably lays into Metal Gear Solid 4 for exactly the reasons we expected. He dislikes the amount and length of the cutscenes , which are fair points. We know a lot of people can't get passed the heavy story. He goes on to label the gameplay cluttered and says that the entire series is badly written. Strong words.
Obviously we don't agree with what Yahtzee says, but the video is still hilarious -- and in the end, that's what Zero Punctuation is all about. Ignore the complaints for what they are, vehicles for his unique brand of humor. Our favorite part of this week's episode has to be the insinuation that Snake and Otacon are more than just good friends. We must say, it crossed our mind at times while we were playing through the game, too.
[Thanks Outinthedark & konungr]
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
groovemachine @ Jun 25th 2008 1:27PM
if you want a constant stream of hilarity watch metal gear awesome on newgrounds
Dehshizknight @ Jun 25th 2008 3:23PM
Yes
Fraser JK @ Jun 25th 2008 4:55PM
AGREED! Metal Gear Awesome is AWESOME!
But yeah, I don't Agree with Yahtzee this time around, although I do see his point, MGS4 is still a 10/10 experience to me!
Marrvia @ Jun 25th 2008 8:28PM
I can't believe I listened to you and watched that Metal Gear Awesome shit. That was the dumbest, most unfunny thing I've ever seen. I had a great sense of humor, but I don't think I will ever be able to laugh again. Gee, Thanks.
Michael @ Jun 25th 2008 1:28PM
The entire series IS poorly written. it's like a bad soap opera for teen age boys.
Eggy @ Jun 25th 2008 1:35PM
sigh
Good video review. I though Haze was better though. Seems like he was trying to hard with MGS4.
reson8er @ Jun 25th 2008 1:38PM
Your obviously a teenage girl then.
Gaucho @ Jun 25th 2008 2:09PM
Sir you have insulted one of my all-time favorite franchises one that I started playing in 98 as a "teenage boy" I should r@p* you where you stand. . . but I'll take the hi road and call you a charlatan, a liar and a cheat, good sir. now that you've been unequivocally embarrassed by my harsh words I bid you farewell. . . we can still be friends though. . . with benefits?
Dehshizknight @ Jun 25th 2008 3:07PM
Lol, seriously, try to keep that comment to yourself as you have insulted quite a few of us.
nobody528 @ Jun 25th 2008 6:52PM
I don't normally consider the negative effects of war profiteering and a global thermonuclear war "teenage boy" material.
ogvor @ Jun 25th 2008 11:23PM
For a video game it's average to above average, but like most video games when compared to any medium that's not a video game it is awful. Subtly is something these games serverly lack.
acefondu @ Jun 27th 2008 8:56AM
I agree, the series is really poorly written. Do people actually listen to what is said in those games? Every character for some reason is a scholar and professes every emotion going on with them at every given moment for no reason. Every character seems to want to contradict themselves, follow your destiny...but change it also! WTF?? Seriously, I agree with the soap opera comment, it really is just that. But the direction is quite good, unlike most soap operas.
reson8er @ Jun 25th 2008 1:31PM
I am probably in the minority but I don't find this guy funny at all, just a wanna be comedian.
He should review himself.
Then maybe he could come up with mildly amusing material.
stargateheaven @ Jun 25th 2008 3:57PM
I agree. I've watched most of these, and I barely even chuckle. Maybe we have a high standard of comedy?
Also, whats with him talking about Holding the 2 aim buttons AND triangle. There is only 1 aim button, and u dont have to hold triangle.
Popfrogs @ Jun 25th 2008 5:19PM
It's clear that he rushed this review. The comments about the cutscenes (skippable), the difficult controls (lol), saying you can't peek out (try the D-pad left and right buttons), saying 3 buttons to shoot...he couldn't have spent more than 5 minutes actually playing.
Note to noobs: L1 to draw your weapon up, triangle to SWITCH to first person mode, R1 to fire. Oh noes, you're holding 1 button with your index fingers and aiming with a thumb. If you always want to default to first person mode when you draw your weapon, go into the options and have it remember that mode. That's the first change I made with the MGO beta. It's really not that hard Yahtzee.
Furthermore one thing that irked me was the comments on The Escapist forums from retards saying "minus the cutscenes this is a 2 hour game". So far, the fastest speedruns have been just over 3.5 hours. Speedruns are crazy fast play throughs where your collect nothing and haul ass from start to finish. Someone compared COD4 single player and said it can be run in a little over an hour.
Mein Bratwurst @ Jun 25th 2008 7:18PM
Holy crap, finally someone who also thinks this nerd is a moron.
Yahtzee = epic fail. He should find a job. He's painfully unfunny in my book.
Marrvia @ Jun 25th 2008 8:38PM
I don't find him funny at all either, and it's hardly entertaining either. But he does "some" valid points. His whole shtick, is that he pretty much only talks about the bad things in games, and comments very little on the good, while most reviews concentrate more on the good things. I do respect that, but in this case, I think he definitely over exaggerates the bad. I would never even consider this guy's review when I buy a game, simply because he notoriously tells half-truths.
GRT @ Jun 25th 2008 1:31PM
He just trashed games to be funny, I wouldn't get too defensive about it. To the best of my knowledge he has never admitted to liking a game, has he?
This is his ticket to internet superstardom! Kind of like writing for a PS3 blog!! :)
lobotomies4free @ Jun 25th 2008 1:50PM
psychonauts, system shock, and assassin's creed. if you really want to know
Mike918 @ Jun 25th 2008 1:50PM
He loves Portal...i think there is a picture of portal being very close to god lol
linebeginstoblur @ Jun 25th 2008 1:51PM
You must not have seen the video review for The Orange Box (Portal, specifically).
phuphroo @ Jun 25th 2008 1:56PM
uh, actually he admittted to love playing portal from orange box.
Zampano @ Jun 25th 2008 2:16PM
If I recall correctly, he also (mostly) liked COD4.
I know I'm going to run the risk of pissing off some fanboys here...but I have to agree with him on some major points. I have not yet played MGS4, but my experience with past entries in the series is that they are: 1) very well-programmed, 2) amazingly detailed, 3) showing high production values, but 4) narratively ridiculous, 5) overly convoluted, and 6) (here's where I'm going to lose a lot of people, so let me stress - FOR ME-) terminally boring. It isn't that I need constant twitchy action (for example, Ico is one of my all-time faves), it's just that I get annoyed with all the sneaking. It's quite impressive, but (again, FOR ME) it just isn't any FUN. I'm interested in this latest installment, but it has to start with a rental, because I just don't trust that I'll actually like the gameplay.
And previous installments make me absolutely certain that the story is rubbish, no matter how lovingly it's told.
Popfrogs @ Jun 25th 2008 5:17PM
@zampano: Fair enough, at least you give reasons for your dislike of the series. If you find sneaking boring, this may not be the game for you, although there is a certain amount of run-n-gun for you until the Ritalin kicks in. ;)
Hyams @ Jun 25th 2008 1:36PM
*shrugs* I love MGS, but I agree with a lot of what Yahtzee said. Difference is, it's not as big as deal for me as it appears to be for him; for me, the good vastly outweighs the bad.
King JMY @ Jun 25th 2008 1:38PM
"I talk fast and hate things!"
sibbor @ Jun 25th 2008 1:41PM
Love you comment. *laugh*
Gabba @ Jun 25th 2008 3:08PM
LOL so true, i dont know why he reviews games, hes failed with this one anyway, trying to find flaws with MGS4.
And its not "poorly written" i just think he cant be bothered to watch the cutscenes.
King JMY @ Jun 25th 2008 3:17PM
It's not poorly written at all, he just needs to point out it's flaws (which are completely invalid in this case), or people won't piss their pants with excitement when his reviews come out.
Having videos in a game isn't a crime, it moves the story along. In this specific instance there is A LOT of ground to cover, as it's tying up the loose ends from all the other games and bringing the series to a close.
Arnon @ Jun 26th 2008 4:20PM
You guys realize that he hates on games all the time. Mainly, because the majority of reviews only look at the good side of things. Honestly, why do you even care?
King JMY @ Jul 1st 2008 9:57AM
I'm just bored...it doesn't keep me up at night or anything.
Outinthedark @ Jun 25th 2008 1:38PM
Who all sent this in Jem?
No one else finds it funny Ninja Gaiden 2 was advertised after his video?
Outinthedark @ Jun 25th 2008 1:44PM
Yay! Props!
Hopefully I can finally play this game...
Jem @ Jun 25th 2008 2:09PM
Sorry mate. Completely skipped my mind. All fixed. :)
dxr @ Jun 25th 2008 2:25PM
Still has the ad for NG2 after... Unless that's not what you meant by "fixed"? :0
Outinthedark @ Jun 25th 2008 2:43PM
@ Jem
Thanks for the update! I appreceate it.
@ drx
He was updating the post to thank konugur and I for sending in the tip. I thought it ironic the video had an add for a 360 exclusive while MGS4 is a PS3 exclusive.
farfisa @ Jun 25th 2008 2:55PM
@outinthedark--I caught that too (about the ad for the 360 exclusive). When I saw the credits roll and there was so much time left, I thought he was going to make a cutscene joke and just have it drag on... pity.
Outinthedark @ Jun 25th 2008 2:57PM
@ farfisa
The Escapist puts ads at the end of the videos now. But he does have funny explanations sometimes during the credits. Usually long rants about something so you have to hit pause to read it all!
farfisa @ Jun 25th 2008 4:18PM
@outinthedark
Yeah, I just watched another review and same ad--they must do it automatically, 'cause the other one was from last August.
Still, if he gives a glowing review of NG2 we'll know something's up ;)
Shannin @ Jun 25th 2008 1:39PM
the game looks boring to me and if there really is a 90 minute cut scene, i will probably never pic this game up.
he was really funny
OAKside @ Jun 25th 2008 1:49PM
You're joking. You've never played/enjoyed any MGS? Congrats on that, quite a feat.
FranklenStein @ Jun 25th 2008 1:53PM
Agreed. Can someone confirm this? I'm lucky if I get 90 minutes of gaming in on a good week. Also, any way to turn the machine off in the middle of a cutscene and resume the next time you play?
farfisa @ Jun 25th 2008 2:53PM
@FranklenStein
I hear you about the limited time--the last time I got to play my PS3, all I had time for was a firmware update and a game install!
Then again, the value sounds pretty right on--it's like getting a season of a tv show and a game all in one. Now just need.. time...
Dan @ Jun 26th 2008 5:37AM
The only cutscene anywhere near that length is the final one at the very end of the game which literally wraps everything up.
OAKside @ Jun 25th 2008 1:52PM
"This shite is bananas."
Indeed.
Sure, the cutscenes are ... epic. But I've always thought the series was pretty well-written (if not a little weird/awkward) considering how little English I see from Kojima. Although I guess there's plenty of people helping out on that by now. :P
cg @ Jun 25th 2008 2:01PM
This "joke" is wearing really thin. He is just a complete arsehole. What has he ever made or contributed to society? All he does is sneer snidely at other peoples creativity. Wanker.
ComicShaman @ Jun 25th 2008 3:11PM
Ah, you and I see things differently. I see the gadfly as a very worthwhile contributor to society. There are some people out there (like the late, great George Carlin) who can't see a sacred cow without wanting to carve off a big old steak. I think that's a fine thing.
I love Metal Gear, and I think 4 is an excellent game. But that does not put it above criticism, and I think many of Yahtzee's jabs hit home in the places where MGS4 shows vulnerability. And yeah, some of it is just juvenile humor. So what?
The gadflies keep us honest. We need them. And that means not getting bent out of shape when they happen to bite something we like.
Dani @ Jun 25th 2008 3:12PM
then you obviously haven't been to his website. He has written books and games, both of which are good. And free. So he has contributed to society, and far more so than a disparaging comment from you has done.
Wanker.
Zsoldier @ Jun 25th 2008 2:02PM
I agree with Yahtzee for the most part. Turning on subtitles for the game REALLY helps especially when they talk in acronyms. The subtitles actually spell out what the heck the acronyms stand for. I didn't find controls to be that much of a problem once I knew what the heck I was doing. What sucked was the lack of tutorial to explain the controls from the beginning or a way to slowly work you into adapting the controls. The game overall though, I thought was good though. Then again I like games with stories. (not like you can't skip all the cutscenes if you wanted to anyway.)
phuphroo @ Jun 25th 2008 2:07PM
i didnt find this video funny at all. the only thing that i found true, is that people with a short attention span like yahtzee's might have a hard time understanding the long cutscenes throughout mgs4.